How to embrace acceptance for your mental health.
Why is emotional acceptance so important for our mental well-being?
You’ve probably heard it a million times over on your journey of recovery… you must learn to accept yourself unconditionally in order to heal. So what exactly does this mean? Does it mean we just accept everything about ourselves and our lives and make no changes, even when we see areas we could be improving on? Does it mean we become passive in our own lives and just get taken along for the ride?
No. Learning to accept yourself is none of those things at all. So what exactly is it? And why is it so important?
What true acceptance is:
Acceptance means you learn to uncover your true emotions that are buried within you in order for them to rise to the surface, to be felt fully so we can let go and heal. This type of emotional acceptance is what self love is all about.
It is about allowing the space and time for ourselves to get to know our true inner emotional states and to take full responsibility for these feelings and to allow them to be for as long as it takes to unfold from the their grip that they have on our lives.
We can use our current life and relationships as a mirror in this way, reflecting back to us what is already within us in order to bring to the surface the hidden parts of us (we are most likely projecting out into the world in a destructive manner.)
True acceptance is going through the pain of feeling things in order to free ourselves and come out the other side a little bit more whole than before. It is a slow unfolding journey to recovering our true selves , who we are under all the trauma and conditioning we picked up in our sick society.
It can feel like a lonely long journey at times and like it is never ending depending on how trapped and suppressed you are, however it is so necessary if you want to attain inner peace and balance in your mind again.
I would highly recommend seeking the help of a therapist when you are starting out who will help to uncover your emotions in a safe way until you feel strong enough that you are able to hold space and grace for yourself to accept and heal in this way.
What acceptance is not:
Emotional acceptance is not these things!
Acting out and being motivated by emotions such as anger/jealousy/fear that harm yourself or others (you can use anger as fuel for taking positive action in your life BUT it is not the same as taking destructive impulsive action that comes from anger. There is a big difference.)
You can accept your emotions around a circumstance in your life but that does not mean you have to like what’s actually happening. You can still take positive action to make changes in your life to improve your situation. When you’re in a state of accepting what is your action will come from a calm and balanced place.
They will most likely have way better outcomes then impulsively doing something from anger/fear/jealousy etc that you really regret later on.
Blameful expression is never a good way of dealing with your emotions. Even though you may feel like you are in the right it never ever works to resolve anything.
Learn to own and accept these emotions such as anger when they arise in you and manage them in whatever way you can attain a state of calm again. You can still assert yourself if you need to stand up for yourself but now it will be coming from a place of power and truth rather than venomous anger which gets us nowhere in life.
Practical way to allow emotional acceptance and self love to become a way of life for you:
Like all habits it takes practice and lots of patience and time to begin to accept yourself in this way: Here are things that work or have worked for me. We are all wired differently so find out what works for you and stick to it as part of a daily or weekly routine.
Therapy (I always recommend this at the beginning. I went to a trainee for two years so it was really affordable and so beneficial in getting me to a place where I could accept myself and deal with emotions etc)
Body work (Dancing, yoga, stretching, breathing, walking)
Mindfulness exercises (there are so many free videos on You Tube to do this)
Listening to music to evoke your emotions especially when you need to cry.
Watching movies you can connect with emotionally that trigger your emotions and allow you to feel and heal.
Journaling your feelings or just writing in general is an excellent way to help you get in touch with your emotions
Art (not for accomplishment but for just being present with your emotions so it doesn’t have to be ‘good’)
So anything that allows you to get in touch with your emotions (in a safe way) so that you can accept what is actually going on under the surface and start to recover your true self. Yes, it takes tonnes of effort and patience but you are worth it. Resisting what is (non acceptance, avoidance, distraction, suppressing your emotions…) only makes their negative effects on your life and mind grow stronger and stronger .
This build up of these suppressed/repressed energies will rear their ugly head in the destructive form of of addiction, depression and mental illness. That is why learning how to accept yourself is crucial to your mental health recovery.
What steps can you take today on your own inner journey of self acceptance?